It must be absolutely exhausting being the second smartest person named Donald Trump on the planet. It must be really hard carrying water for a man who probably doesn’t like you as much as your sister, who he clearly has sexual desires for. It must be, truly and assuredly, very difficult to be Donald Trump Jr., the world’s most idiotic man, but it must be a lot of fun, because Junior sure does like to broadcast his stupidity for all to see, especially on Twitter.
By now, it’s absolutely no secret that the Trump family hates the media. That is to say that when the media publishes a story that makes their crime syndicate look bad, they lash out and trash the press. But have you ever noticed that if a story is published that either makes them look good or shows a mistake made by competing news outlets, all of a sudden they love the press, and you never hear the term “fake news” out of their mouths? If the “failing” New York Times publishes a story that in anyway shows Trump or his cadre of misanthropic crotch mutations in a positive light, all of a sudden Capt. Twiddle-Dick is out there tweeting the story, and Dopey Don Jr. is right there to retweet it.
But, basically, as a rule, the Trumps hate the media because the media largely reports what the Trumps do, accurately, and that really has a dampening effect on the amount of bullshit that’s necessary to make the Trumps feel like like successful business moguls. You know, instead of the self-evident band of hucksters and criminals that they really are? The point here is simple: the free press is a direct threat to the Trump administration and the Trump family’s white collar mafia.
So no one should be all that surprised that The Washington Post’s Super Bowl ad triggered Junior something fierce. The ad was, essentially, a memorial tribute to Post reporter Jamal Khashoggi, who was killed by men working for a vicious Saudi prince. The ad also was a vociferous defense of the practice of journalism in general, something the Trumps have repeatedly attacked during Mushroom Dong’s tenure in the White House.
For normal people watching the ad, it’d be hard not to at least feel a little pride in the tradition of American journalism. The spot is narrated by Tom Hanks and evokes plenty of emotion. But for Don Jr. the ad must doubly sting. Not only is it a defense of something that is both constitutionally protected and poses a true existential threat to his dad’s presidency and their company, but the ad serves as a stark reminder that Tough Guy Donald Trump folded like a cheap, blood soaked suit and simply rolled over, letting Saudi Arabia continue its longstanding tradition of spitting in our faces while we shrug and say, “Yeah, but, oil.”
Don Jr. saw the ad, and immediately took to Twitter in the most obvious, “HEY DADDY! LOOK AT ME DADDY! I’M DEFENDING YOUR HONOR, DADDY!” moment he’s had in quite some time.
You know how MSM journalists could avoid having to spend millions on a #superbowl comercial to gain some undeserved credibility?
How about report the news and not their leftist BS for a change.
— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) February 4, 2019
Needless to say, there’s something quite hilarious about the son of a president who is only power because of Fox News’ influence on voters talking about “leftist BS” in mainstream media reporting. It’s also very trite whenever a conservative mentions the mainstream media, because invariably they’ll bring up Fox’s ratings, which if they’re as high as they claim, would put Fox News squarely in the mainstream. But I digress. the point is that for a Trump to mock anyone’s “credibility” strains the limits of earthly physics.
No one is less credible than the Trump family. No tax records. Hiding the details of meetings from the public. Shady shit left and right, and ridiculous excuses abound. People in the inner circle keep getting arrested and pleading guilty. But sure, Don Jr.’s going to give the media a lesson being credible. The Adoption Meeting Guy is going to lecture us on lying?
Well, needless to say, Twitter saw that Tweet of Junior’s and tied him to every moving vehicle they could possibly drag him with, so here are the best responses for you to laugh at him with.
This comment underscores the true hypocrisy of Donald Trump Jr. Dude lied to the American people about his meeting in Trump Tower in June 2016, and has most definitely lied to Congress. For him to call anyone’s truthfulness into question is beyond stupid.
This how the President’s child reacted to the Washington Post’s #SuperBowl commercial that honored journalists, including those who lost their lives like Jamal Khashoggi.
Trying to discredit the media won’t change the fact you lied to Congress junior.https://t.co/M9gVUVLTq5
— Ahmed Baba (@AhmedBaba_) February 4, 2019
This Twitter user was eloquent and didn’t swear at Junior while they eviscerated him. Which normally means it’d be ignored on social media, but it’s nice to see the tweet got a decent number of likes.
Wow. How low can you go? Especially when they honored some of those who gave their lives to report the truth. What are you willing to give your life for?
— RFriend2012 (@RFriend2012) February 4, 2019
One savvy commenter noticed that there’s another familial trait besides racism, entitlement, and (probably) mangled genitals: illiteracy. Don Jr. must’ve been sucking back hamberders with dad and was too busy to spell “commercial” right.
Did you graduate from that horrible college trump u or the one daddy bought his degree from? Because neither one of you jackholes can spell! Be Best you’re supposed to be role models or as you and daddy would say Roll models! Like that tan is stupid genetics?
— MEDON1458 (@prestonmarsha19) February 4, 2019
I will always signal boost tweets that troll Junior about getting indicted, because we know for a fact that Chronic Jizz Face has been afraid of that for quite some time.
Pretty cool they let you watch the game before indicting you. Be sure and thank the OSC at your arraignment.
— Greg Olear (@gregolear) February 4, 2019
Will also always signal boost tweets that call out Trumps for what they really are — attention whores. Well, they’re attention whores that are white collar criminals, but you get the point.
— Angry Staffer (@AngrierWHStaff) February 4, 2019
No lies detected.
“Leftist bs” is actually fact-based and peer-reviewed journalist. Which is almost like seeing it in a movie and thinking it’s real, but not.
— Sarah Reese Jones (@PoliticusSarah) February 4, 2019
And finally, one more Mueller-related troll, in meme form.
— I luv being Teamster (@JimKilbane) February 4, 2019
Watch the Washington Post ad that triggered Don Jr., below:
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.