Will America Ever Be Able to Accept a Non-Racist President With a Normal Sized and Shaped Penis Again?

Donald Trump is racist.

I’m kind of over trying to prove it to people who will just pretend they don’t see it, no matter how easy it is to point out. But, well, I’ll say it again, I guess. Donald Trump is a racist.

Even if he hadn’t been sued by the government in the 1970’s for being a racist and not renting to black people, even if he hadn’t taken out a full page ad in the newspaper demanding that five innocent black men be put to death anyway despite being exonerated because it would help white people feel safer, he’d still be a racist. Even if he hadn’t started his political career by literally implying every single Mexican on Earth is a drug dealing, serially raping murderer…he’d still be racist.

He’d still be a racist because he tweets stuff…like this.

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I have no desire to continue trying to convince people that Trump is racist. Not when he’s “scoring” political points by using the fucking Trail of Tears as a punchline. I get it; Liz Warren taking that DNA test was a really stupid moved, spurred on by the slack-jawed trolling that Trump and his idiot son Don Jr. do to her on a regular basis. Ribbing her a little should be expected, because the results of her tests were what they were, and she can’t deny it.  Trump’s tweet is so disgusting because he, like the classic cartoon character of the intellectually-stunted bully he is, moved his comedic sights from Warren and onto the Natives who were marched to and through their deaths.

There is certainly a segment of the American populace who doesn’t accept that Manifest Destiny was America’s holocaust. Despite the knowledge that millions of natives were slaughtered, starved, and purposefully infected with disease, they think it was all “for the greater good” and “ordained by God.” In other words, they still, in 2019, buy into what Manifest Destiny was sold to a bunch of 19th century under-educated Americans as…God giving us permission to commit genocide.

Shock and surprise at Trump’s racism is over, too, by the way. The man was elected by the party that’s still defending Confederate monuments. He told the nation after a white supremacist killed a woman with his car that there are “good people on both sides” of the Nazi/Not-a-Nazi divide. Again, I’m not here to argue if Trump is racist, of course he’s racist. He’s racist like you and I are carbon based lifeforms that depend on oxygen.

My question isn’t “Is Donald Trump racist?” My question is, “Will America ever be able to accept a non-racist president with a normal sized and shaped penis again?”

Will Americans ever be able to elect a man who doesn’t think one of the most atrocious human rights violations in the history of our species is fodder for comedic material? Can the American people ever put a person in the Oval Office again who doesn’t think someone is a criminal just because he can’t tell the difference between their name and a Taco Bell menu item? My question is, in fact, can this great country of ours ever stomach the notion of election someone as president who isn’t a racist, delusional, white collar crook with a mangled cock?

Tune in next year to find out!


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

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